SexEd
by elin2002
Summary: Berger decides to teach Roger some sex education...Prequel to Banana Blow Jobs.


_**(So I decided since I mentioned that Berger got the idea for Banana Blow Jobs when Roger was 13 I should show that scene. I don't own RENT or HAIR, and an interesting tidbit I wrote part of this in a Baptist Church Basement I was there for something else. The story takes place around 1980.)**_

One afternoon 13 year old Roger walked through the door of the apartment he shared with his mother Jeannie and his Uncle Berger. Every once in a while his other aunts and uncles were staying with them too.

"Ma! Uncle Berger! I'm home!"

"Hey Kid how was jail?" Asked Berger.

"Good, the Warden sent a notice and permission slip home for you and Mom to look at and sign." Said Roger handing Berger the paper.

"Well let's see what we have here. Sex-Ed? They need permission to teach you guys about safe sex?"

"I guess so are you guys going to let me go to the class?" Asked Roger.

"Yeah, I mean the final decision is Jeannie's but I don't see a problem. But I can show you something they won't teach ya in Sex-Ed class."

"What's that?" Asked Roger.

"Jeannie went grocery shopping before work go get a couple bananas."

"Why?"

"Oh and get a knife too."

"Okay?" Said Roger slowly he knew to just go with the flow with whatever Berger said it usually turned out interesting. "I got two bananas and a knife now what?"

"Have a seat. I'm going to show you something I've only done and shown one other person."

"Who?"

"Your Uncle Claude. And maybe when you're older you can teach your kids or the kids you're helping raise." Said Berger. "Okay so what you do is cut the stem off just enough see you can see the top of the banana inside. Then put it in your mouth and suck as hard as you can while moving the banana in and out, but you can't use your teeth." "

"Why?"

"Because then not only will we be cleaning, we will be making banana and peanut butter sandwiches." Said Berger censoring the response he actually had.

Roger and Berger sat on the couch for five minutes sucking on the bananas before on his latest move Berger smacked Roger's leg with the empty peel in one hand and the meat of the banana in his mouth.

"Wow okay can we keep practicing?"

"Later why don't you go do your homework and then we'll work on this again."

"Okay."

About a half-hour later Berger decided to go check on Roger's progress.

"Hey kid how's the homework going?"

"Good math is done; I just need to do my health work next."

"What's the topic?"

"Drugs."

"Yeah what kind?" Asked Berger suddenly interested.

"I don't know I haven't looked at the assignment yet." Roger responded grabbing his book in a notebook. "I have to match the drug name with its effects."

"Seems easy. We'll make it through this fast." Said Berger.

They sat down and worked through the assignment with Roger asking the occasional questions about the different drugs.

"Uncle Berger, I know you smoke pot but how do you know so much about the other drugs?"

"Before you're born and a bit after experimented. I once laced a joint with LSD and give it to my friend. He tripped hard that night."

"Tripped over what?

"Himself, his thoughts mostly."

"Who was it?"

"Your uncle Claude."

"Ma know this?"

"Yup. In fact when it happened she was pregnant with you." Said Berger. "So are we all done?"

"Yeah, can we practice with the banana some more?"

"I've created a monster your mom is going to kill me." Said Berger sarcastically.

"I won't tell if you won't." Said Roger with a smile.

"Go get the bananas and I'm going to get something from my room that I definitely need to show you how to do."

"Okay."

They met up in the living room with the bananas and the items that Berger had to get out of his room.

"So what did you need to get?" Asked Roger.

"Something that I'm not entirely sure they will teach you at school and it's something that you need to know."

"What?"

"You need to know how to put a condom on Roger. Not only will this protect you from dangerous diseases, it'll help you not get a girl pregnant."

"I don't want that."

"Good, now what you do is take it out of the package and it looks like a disk, touch the tip."

"Eww." Said Roger.

"What?"

"It's wet and slimy."

"Oh that's the lube." Said Berger.

"What's lube?"

"You know the stuff I put on the door to make it stop squeaking?"

"Yeah?"

"It's kind of like that only its safe for humans."

"Okay?" Said Roger warily.

"Now what you do is after you grab the tip he slowly roll it over your junk or as we're doing now the bananas."

"Like that?"

"Yet but make sure you leave a little room at the top."

"Why?" Asked Roger.

"So it can catch the Army. You don't want one of them getting drafted for fatherhood when you're not ready."

"Okay." Said Roger excepting the answer.

"And that's how you put a condom on. Now go put these in the kitchen."

"All right." Roger went into the kitchen looked around settled for putting them back in the basket that they kept the fruit in.

"All right you ready to have this contest again?"

"Yup."

Roger and Berger started sucking when they heard the keys in the lock.

"Hi guys, what are you doing?" Asked Jeannie finally taking in the scene and not knowing whether to be angry or laugh. To her question are held up a finger to tell her one minute. "Okay." She watched with attention the goings-on in her living room. A short time later Berger once again came out victorious.

"Keep going." Said Berger.

"What are you teaching him?" Asked Jeannie.

"How to give the banana a blow job." He said completely innocently. "They sent home a permission slip to start teaching Sex-Ed so I figured I would teach him something they wouldn't."

"Give me the permission slip." Said Jeannie with a laugh at her friend's antics she quickly signed the slip while Berger went to further instruct Roger. A few seconds later Roger smiled as the banana came out.

"Mom! Look what I did!"

"That's great Honey. Did you have a good day at school?" Said Jeannie with the laugh and a smile.

"Yeah."

"Did you do your homework?"

"Yup. Uncle Berger helped me with my health homework."

"What was it on?"

"Drugs and their different effects."

"Well I'm sure you'll get a 100%." Said Jeannie with a smile and Berger looked up while he was cleaning up. He looked back at her to say _'you did just as much as me'_."

"Why don't you go put this in your bag." She said handing him the paper she just signed.

"Okay, thanks mom."

"No problem honey." She said as Roger walked into his room she laughed. "Thanks babe for teaching him that.."

"No problem. Kid's gotta know."

"I know. I'm glad you talked him. You're a great uncle."

"It's no problem Jeannie, I'm glad to help."

Jeannie walked into the kitchen to start dinner when she spotted the fruit basket.

"Oh for the love of... Berger!" She yelled laughing.

"What! I didn't do anything." He walked in the kitchen seeing her pointing at the fruit basket. There were the two bananas with condoms on them sitting in the basket. He started laughing. "Your son, Roger!"

"What?"

"Why did you put the bananas back in the basket?" Asked Berger.

"You and mom tell me not to be wasteful."

"I think it's okay this time." Said Jeannie but not before taking a picture of the basket. She then threw the bananas in the trash.

"They won't teach him that in sex-ed." Said Berger.


End file.
